Monday, July 13, 2009

I'm in Heat

Note: This post was actually written en route NYC on Friday, July 10th, 2009.



Up until recently, I thought the hottest place I had been ever in my life had been Qatar. We arrived there at night and I recall vividly wearing a suit and heels and disembarking the blue and white military plane from the stairs and wondering why in the world the Air Force pilot would have left the engine running while we got off the plane. It wasn’t until I hit the tarmac that I realized the incendiary blast was not from the engine of a 747. It was the temperature in the place we had arrived. It was so hot that I distinctly remember walking out of the Ritz Carlton again in full on business attire to wait to board the motorcade and thinking, “there is no way I can wait outside, I will have to stand in the lobby until it’s time to go”. With equal distinction, I remember the soles of the USSS agents’ shoes melting on the tarmac as they awaited our arrival at the airport, more importantly, our departure from the region.


I grew up in a miserably humid climate and have lived in a few others so this statement that Qatar was the hottest I had ever been was pretty bold. Hot summers are not lost on me so this posting should tell you something. I’m not some pansy who grew up in Puget Sound and is whining because the mercury broke 80 today.


I think it’s time for me to revise my thinking. Summer, 2009 is headed to be the hottest on record in Texas. Think about that. That’s the equivalent of saying, “that’s hot for Texas…WHICH IS ALWAYS HOT”. The difference between this experience and my Middle East one is the duration of the heat. Maybe if I spent a summer in Qatar we wouldn’t be having this “discussion”. But I’m spending the summer in Austin and the endless streak of triple digit temps is enough to make you cry…if for no other reason than because the feeling of tears streaming down your face is somewhat refreshing. The fact that I am comparing the summer in Texas to the climate in the MIDDLE EAST is a bit absurd. I actually think those Middle Eastern inhabitants are cooler because of that whole robe thing they have going on. I’m telling you, they are onto something with those robes; all that ventilation. Texans are still trying to prove a point by wearing Wranglers and boots in the middle of this nightmare. Talk about a hot mess. I’m having to adjust my ac vent above my airplane seat as I write this. Phew.


August and even mid-July are expected to feel like Dante’s 7th Level of Hell. You know that as a Texan your summers are going to be hot. Your grass is going to be brown and you are going to have to adhere to very strict city/county ordinances which dictate when you can water your lawn based on your zip code. If your zip code ends in an even number, you can water your lawn on Monday, Wednesday and Friday between 6:30 pm and 8 pm. No, seriously…that’s about how it goes.


But this year is different. It’s different because the blast of exhaust started in early June and is showing no signs of giving up. My car, Joan Jetta, has not gone unscathed. Lucifer had his way with her battery two weeks ago thereby costing her owner a whopping 162 bucks to get her running again. Not only is this heat brutal, it’s expensive.


Then there is the age old, “but it’s a dry heat” debate. Spare me. My oven is a dry heat and I use it cook a 10 pound turkey at Thanksgiving and a dense lasagna. It’s by no means cool in there simply because it is devoid of moisture. There is only ONE exception to the, “but it’s a dry heat” theory and that is if, and only if, the dry heat dissipates in the evening and you are graced with a cool night, complete with breezes a la Phoenix in October. Then a dry heat makes its point. In Austin, two nights ago, it was 106 at 8:30 pm. Dry or humid, I don’t care. That simply ain’t right. I agree that humidity is much more oppressive in a lot of ways but that argument is moot when the temperature hits 108. No one is getting the better end of the deal at that point. 100% humidity. 108 degrees in a “dry heat”. Everyone is sweating through shirts, suits, and is sticking to their car.


I’m winging my way to the East Coast for a nice weekend with friends and family and I am thrilled that the temps are in the 70s and 80s. I do believe I packed a jacket. The East Coast is no stranger to sweltering heat. They have to check on their elderly neighbors like the rest of us and a few years back, an electrical grid of some sort blew due to extreme heat thereby leaving 8 million or so New Yorkers stranded and walking in said oppression. For now, they are enjoying almost fall-like temperatures and I cannot wait to enjoy a little bit of it in New York City. Things are looking pretty cool…cool city, cool people, and yes, cool temps. Bring it!

1 comment:

  1. I totally agree with you about the "dry heat" debate! I went to Phoenix last July...and thought it would be fun to rent a mustang convertible for a drive up to Sedona. When it is above 110 outside (it was 120 that day)...I don't care if it's a "dry heat" or not - it's just plain H.O.T.

    ...oh, and I have a friend living in Bahrain now, and she said that right now she guesses she shouldn't be complaining too much since we are having such a heat wave here in Texas. BUT, that she'll feel absolutely fine complaining when they hit 130 in 100% humidity, lol!

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